How to Be A Good Wife (Part 3 of 3)

Finally, we are at the last part of the 3 part series, I hope you have enjoyed Part 1 and Part 2.

These are 2 more practical ways which you can love your husband.

7. Try to look nice.

I mean, to him. Not anyone else. Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. Every guy has some different idea of being beautiful. Ask for husband’s opinion on what clothes or accessories suits you. Discard that dress if he thinks it doesn’t really suit you. When purchasing clothes, trust his opinions and go with it (even though you may prefer the white blouse) as long as it is comfortable to wear. (Sometimes you may find that he actually makes a better choice). After all, the main objective is to attract the husband right? If you think you need to attract anyone else, probably you’ve got a self-esteem problem… If you buy this idea that women need to “look good in order to feel good”. That is a big lie. I feel good when I am loved. I don’t think I look like supermodel or pretty in the world’s standards. But I think I look better and better because I feel loved, and I gain confidence in who I am and not what I am wearing or whether I own a branded bag. =) The pimple on my cheek doesn’t stop me from meeting others although during my teens it was a big blow to me. I wouldn’t sit at home sulking because I got a bad hair day!

As a SAHM, I don’t have much motivation to dress up during the week or have any time or budget to go for all the nice beauty services. But I don’t think a SAHM should look sloppy either, but because of the sheer busyness I tend to overlook it, I must admit. I hardly even had chance to go toilet for a pee break, much less to comb my hair! Keeping busy helps me to remain slim. I eat a lot, trust me! I try to maintain neatness and good skin instead, and I think it does great to help me look pleasant. I will always go for looks that are natural and low maintenance, as advocated by Bobby Brown. She thinks that if your hair is brown, let it be. If your hair is straight, don’t curl it. Instead, enhance what you naturally have, so your looks will be low maintenance! I keep very long hair, although I know it can be a little tough to maintain and I was so tempted to cut it when the weather is freaking hot, especially in Singapore’s weather. So when I ask DH, do you like long hair or short, may I cut it, because it is hot and hard to dry? He tells me, he don’t mind me with short hair, I should snip it if it is uncomfortable. When I probe him a little more, if he likes long hair? He tells me that every guy would like long hair. I rest my case and decided against cutting =)

Good skin, good hair, healthy diet and body and a happy and energetic soul, is beautiful to my husband. Thank God I don’t need to do much else to please him. During weekdays, what I do is that I will at least wash my face and keep it clean, so that I have clear skin. I don’t have time to put on anything, but if I do, only some moisturizer. I don’t mind a bit of sun for the vitamin D so I don’t really apply sunshield, unless for sports or prolonged exposure to sun. I maintain simple hygiene by brushing teeth, washing face and showering, of course, as I previously shared, I routinely exfoliate and I don’t soap all the time to have good skin (only when I feel really greasy and dirty). To lower maintenance for the hair, I only shampoo once a week, or if I feel very greasy, I will wash more frequently, maximum 3 times a week. Too much shampoo is bad for the scalp and hair! A little natural oil on that hair will help keep it less frizzy and more shiny.*

If we go out for any gatherings together, I make it a point to dress better for my husband. Sometimes, I will put on some makeup. Again, it should be something husband likes!

*Try applying some powder on the scalp instead of washing it with shampoo all the time if you feel your scalp oily. Then brush it well. I think it is much better than shampooing all the time because the shampoo contains lots of harmful chemicals. May help premature hair fall! (You can view demo videos on you tube)

8. Be a good sport. Join him at his hobby. Adapt to him. Although I know some men love their wives enough to adapt to them instead… One wonderful thing that God has made women with the gift of the ability to adapt. Have you ever wondered why guys are so single minded while the woman can multitask and forge relationships quickly? I think it is because God made women to adapt to the men! Among the 5 basic male needs, according to this book “His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage” by Willard F. Harley, Jr., Willard F. Harley, is spending recreational time with his wife, second only to sex for the typical husband. **

For every activity that we choose to do during the weekend, we are purposeful in building up the relationship. Weekends are soooo precious!!! I have given up trying to play badminton regularly (although I really really love it!!), simply because I cannot play with my husband; he cannot play racquet sports due to a broken elbow (even if it has “recovered”, he cannot take impact sports on his arm). Instead, we choose exercise that we all enjoy, such as cycling and exploring, which WM enjoys very much, turning into every nook and corner. I enjoy exploring with him too, it very interesting to go new places.

**I find this book “His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage” by Willard F. Harley, Jr., Willard F. Harley excellent, you can purchase it at any major Christian bookstore or online. You can preview this book online here. The summary of the book can be found here.

Disclaimer: I am not an affiliate to anything in relation to the book nor do I earn/benefit anything for sharing this post. My aim is to share something that I find helpful for my marriage, and I hope that it would help you enhance your relationship.

Are there anymore practical ways which you think can help you love your husband more? Loving your husband is being a good wife! I would love to hear you share with me, because I am learning as much as you are! (Please do not think I am perfect…I am also struggling and learning, these posts are for me as much as they are for you! Our marriage is not perfect either, it is really by God’s grace that we stay together.)

I hope these posts have encouraged you to be a better wife to your husband. =) As I mentioned in the introduction of post 1, if ever you ran out of love, and think that he doesn’t deserve your love nor respect, it is only human. Only Jesus, can help us do the humanly impossible. If you truly experienced God’s love, He will help us to love even when the other may not reciprocate this love to us. Unconditional love may change a person (although change will not be immediate), but choosing to walk out of a marriage (or even decide to stop working on it) will break everyone’s heart. May you enjoy the life you’ve always wanted, by staying in His grace through obedience.

2 comments

  1. VCh

    Read somewhere that the year after the first child is born is when the marriage is brought to its lowest and most fragile point. Gal, I am sturggling and I had been blessed to read through your processed thoughts that confirm many action items that I am still asking the Lord to break my pride to execute in submitting, respecting and more importantly loving my husband again. Glad to find you online. :D

  2. I’m glad that it is of blessing to you! it will probably take 100 posts of mine to “help”, but if it is of any help at all, I’m glad. I believe walking in the Lord with obedience will truly help our struggles. I am not perfect too. May you enjoy your marriage through trusting God and obeying Him. =)

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